Saturday, May 4, 2013

How To Build Massive Positive Energy That Creates Amazing Conversations

This is what it comes down to:
Emotional energy is contagious. When you're having a great day, conversations seem creative, engaging and effortless: that's a huge deal for winning over anybody. However, the ability to snap yourself into a state where you radiate a strong emotional presence can be tricky, especially if you're having a bad day!
A happy mindset, brimming with positivity, will always give you a successful edge when dealing with people.
When you're upbeat, you'll find that hitting it off with that stranger in the room becomes easy because your conversation unfolds naturally and with warmth.
However, there is a knack to developing an attitude when you feel like you are enthusiastically 'bouncing off the walls', with an overwhelming energy. If only it was easy to always feel like we do on our best days when
we have a spring in our step and everything goes our way. Then it is so easy to talk to people and things just 'click'.
Not all of us feel amazing 24/7, and we find it hard to tap into that kind of mental energy. Being gloomy and carrying that horrible sinking feeling around is a major problem when you're trying to engage with people. Not only do you expect that any interaction you have will go badly, in turn people are more likely to react negatively to you because you are projecting a feeling of unhappiness.
The problem with feeling happy is that most of the time we allow events in the outside world to influence how we feel on the inside. It's easy to rate our happiness through external factors like the size of our bank balance, state of our relationship or general healthiness.
However, no external factor can really ever equal the joy of the moment, or warmth that inner emotions can give. Although it's a (tired) cliche, 'true' happiness does come from within!
The trick to getting happy on the inside is to build an optimistic mindset that is unconquerable. Even negative events can be perceived positively when you actively choose to look for the benefits in them.
There are lots of times in our lives where we feel unhappy; however, the mistake that we all seem to make is thinking that those circumstances have to be optimal before we can experience happiness.
Modern society has unwritten rules that say:
-'if I'm not earning that much money 
-'if my relationship isn't going well 
-'if I'm not feeling too brilliant... 
..then, in turn, I have to feel unhappy.' -Who made up this dumb rule? You can choose when you feel happy!
Unhappiness comes from THINKING badly about something (choosing to perceive an event as negative).
In turn, this causes us to FEEL terrible, which in turn makes us BEHAVE in an unhappy way, and therefore attract more negativity into our lives.
Hence, we often want to BEHAVE in a way that is 'happier'... but we don't address our THOUGHTS and BELIEFS that could be preventing us from feeling that way. So, the true key to happiness (wow I feel
like a real philosopher saying that) is having a happier mindset. Nurture a carefree attitude by thinking of
enthusiastic reasons to counter the inevitable bad stuff when it crops up.
I like to use the simple phrase: "THAT'S *GREAT* BECAUSE..."
For example:
"It's raining!"
"That's great because my clothes could 
do with a wash"
       "You smell like cabbage"
"That's great because cabbage is really 
good for you!"
Or even:
"I don't like you!"
"That's great because I thought we were
growing a bit too close!"
The trick is to flip every negative occurrence that enters your life into something positive. Is this an insane way to live your life? - Probably, but I couldn't be happier!
To summarize, getting into a warm, happy state so you can engage people, no matter what, is an attitude of getting addicted to positive emotions. Bubbling with emotional energy is not about bottling your best feelings up so you can call on them at a later date... it's about living your life with a perspective that constantly creates NEW good feelings to revel in.
Now, you might be thinking this is obviously one of those 'more easily said than done' things, so I'm going to give you some fun homework!

Over the next week I want you to play a little game on a few people you know!
When you talk to them I'd like you to ask them a question so that they have to answer 'yes'. The goal is to try to coax a positive response for every question you ask.
-Let me give you some examples:
If I was trying to decide where to go for dinner and I wanted to ask my friend what they fancied, I may say:
"I can't decide where to go for dinner. 
Isn't it great that we have so much choice
available to us?"
Or, if I wanted to borrow the stapler at work
I might say:
"Can I borrow the stapler? Isn't it 
great that we have this useful, nifty 
little device so that we can keep 
everything filed nicely?"
The point of this exercise is to get YOU into the habit of being upbeat. If you can get your acquaintances to respond positively to you it means that you're already in a positive frame of mind: oozing the charismatic vibe that others dig.
Choosing to BEHAVE positively comes from taking pleasure in the little things. This can then help us to FEEL positive, and gradually we'll start to THINK positively far more often.